Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Soccer and Sin

I don't believe we are born sinners, or have a stain, or should be ashamed of ourselves in any way.  We are born perfect, and only when we are taught that we are sinners by religion do we doubt and transgress.  It is a self-fulfilling prophecy and could have no more obvious result.  It's so clear when you look at it this way, from a parent-child relationship with God:

If we think of God as a parent, why would he ever tell us we aren't good enough for him?  Every time, every single time, that I go into a Christian church, somewhere in the service we ask God to forgive us because we sin, and we don't know better, and we fail every day to act like we should.  And that somehow this disappoints and dishonors him.

Think of your child being on a soccer team at 6 years old.  You are his loving father.  You start off the season by saying,

"Son, you are not very good at soccer.  You may try your best but everyday you fail to be the kind of soccer player I would like you to be.  It's not your fault; you were just born being a less than stellar soccer player.  You should do everything you can every single day to try to get better because it disappoints me that you are so bad.  I have set a standard for perfection in soccer and you just don't measure up, and that dishonors me.  You should respect me more by being better.  You should worship me for how good I am at soccer (because in fact I am the best soccer player there ever could be!!).

I will always love you but I will always remind you that you are bad.  You will be tired and hungry and frustrated and feel alone during the game and I am there to cheer you on, but you can't ever really see me or touch me.  I am never there to give you a hug or shout "Hurray!  Good job Son!"  You are really not even sure if I exist.  And you won't find that out until the end of the game.  You'll just have to trust me on that one.

You should do everything you can in the game to make others feel better and make them shine because your ego has no place in the game.  You should put yourself behind the others.  Serve them first, because when they score, the glory is yours.  It's better to not be too proud; it's better to revel in their successes than yours.  But you probably won't succeed anyway.  I know you suck and have always sucked but be more like me and you'll get better.  I'm the perfect model.  Oh, and if you disobey me you will burn in hell forever."

How in the name of GOD is that love?  How, in any possible interpretation of that monologue, is that love?  What parent would ever in his right mind tell his child that?  Not one.  What parent who acts like that would ever deserve to have that child?  None.

But that's exactly what religion wants us to believe.  It is child abuse, plain and simple.

There's another way.  There is a way filled with light and love.  And that way leads us all to Heaven on Earth.  Read more about the new way on my past posts.  I also invite you to read more in my book, Through the Open Door: A Bipolar Attorney talks Mania, Recovery, and Heaven on Earth."  Available here:   Amazon.

Hope springs eternal.  Love to all.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Step into the sun, step into the light: The Wizard of Oz

Lots of great songs from the Wizard of Oz but this might be my favorite, which is possibly the shortest:

"You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun
Step into the light

Keep straight ahead for the most glorious place
On the face of the earth or the sky
Hold onto your breath
Hold onto your heart
Hold onto your hope
March up to the gate and bid it open

You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun
Step into the light
March up to the gate and bid it open, open"

The "glorious place" is the most hopeful, happy, peaceful place I have ever been: Heaven on Earth.  I may have been there through manic episodes, but I know it's real, and I truly believe I can share it with all of you.  People like the neurosurgeon Dr. Eben Alexander, author of Proof of Heaven, have been there too, and the chorus of people with evidence of Heaven is growing louder.  We're all trying to explain how we got there and how you can get there too.

The Wizard of Oz is a metaphor, I believe.  Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Lion, and the Scarecrow are all of us on our personal quests to find the light and the truth.  The Witch is our doubts and fears, everything that makes us feel small and scared.  The Witch is organized religion.  She rules with an iron grip.

The Great and Powerful Oz is the God we have become acquainted with in the Monotheistic Age.  He leads us to believe he is omniscient and omnipotent, and he scares us with his power.  Our quest is to find him, be with him, learn from him.  We feel that we need him to rule over us.  We feel we need him to be real.  But he is not.

He is the man behind the curtain.  When Dorothy pleads with him to have some compassion after he terrifies and tortures the Cowardly Lion, he just bellows commands and sends them on another quest, to kill the witch and bring back her broom stick.  "Killing in the name of God..."  Their long journey through the land of Oz was not enough for God.  That's the problem with God, you can try your whole life to find him and be close to him and still not find him.  And he keeps raising the bar: never forget you are a sinful human....stay scared and in the dark and small in his shadow....but search a little harder and try a little harder to be a better person each day.  And you just might see the "real God" in the end.

So Dorothy figures out he is really a human, just like us.  He becomes more like a dear friend when he is humanized.  Oz becomes the answer to her prayers when she unveils him, because she sees her humanness in him.  She finds out that she is really as Godly and full of potential and hope as any "God" there is.  We are the Gods, we are the masters of our fate and the ones who tend the flame of hope in our hearts.  All of the citizens of Oz practiced obedience to a myth, and as long as they feared him, they stayed in their place.  But when the myth was revealed, the four sojourners fulfilled their wildest dreams.

Glinda, the Good Witch, put it best to Dorothy:  When Dorothy asks for her help Glinda says "you don't need to be helped any longer....you always had the power (to go back to Kansas)."  The Scarecrow asks Glinda why she didn't tell Dorothy that before, and Glinda says "because she wouldn't have believed me; she had to learn it herself."

The power, the light, the love, the untapped potential....it is all right there in your heart already.  You don't need a God to show you the way.  When you realize humans are the Gods, you return home to the Eden that existed before we invented him.  It is the ultimate return to the throne.  It took me ten years to realize that God was not a personality, but Love Triumphant and Supreme.

The Wizard says "Remember my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved in return."  The trick is not giving unconditional love, as is prescribed by the Monotheistic God of our modern religions, but to RECEIVE unconditional love from others.  True love is allowing yourself to love you as much as others do.  To RECEIVE and BELIEVE the love others shower on you.  We love each other so much, but we doubt it all the time.  We don't think we are good enough to deserve perfect love.  We have been taught from birth we are stained, we are sinners, so how can we ever love as was intended?  Set aside the God construct, and love becomes a tidal wave, and you can't help loving others as much as they love you.

We can all walk out of the darkness and into the light.  It's right there waiting for us, right in front of our veiled eyes.  The light is breaking over this dark world, and soon.






Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Girl in the Mirror




I’m on the recovery road from a recent brief manic episode.  Resulted from lack of sleep due to kids waking up a lot, and change of seasons, and a few other things.  Back in business though!

This weekend, though, I had a really great conversation with a good friend.  We talked about my philosophy about us being the Gods, and heaven coming when religion as we know it is over.  She is a Christian but bless her heart, she had the patience and caring to listen to my perspective.  She really asked a lot of questions, which is all I long for.  A chance to be heard. 

So I had too much wine that night and was a little emotional.  I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and found myself tearing up when I looked in the mirror.  I just looked at myself and said plaintively, “Please, please let me know there is a reason for all of this.  Please let me know there is a point for all I have done….the hard work on the book, putting myself and my revolutionary ideas on the line, risking my family’s reputation, risking (and experiencing) rejection, going through the emotions of becoming public with my illness.”  “Please someone or something out there show me a sign that it’s worth it, and my vision will someday come to pass.”  In the old days you I would have prayed to God, but that night I just put my faith and energy directly into my own soul while I looked at myself in the mirror.  We, the Gods.  “Then through a glass darkly, now face to face.”

Well, yesterday, my mother-in-law told me her friend, who is Southern Baptist, had read my book, straight through.  I was worried about what he would say.  She said his quote was “You know, she had some interesting and different ideas.  It made me think about things differently.  The truth may not be what we think.”  She told him she really believed I had seen something special when I walked in Heaven.  They had a good discussion.

Well, hot damn!  That was the answer to my supplication.  My effort is worthwhile.  If 99 Baptists say I am blasphemous but 1 says it made him think differently, I have achieved my goal.  It made my heart sing. 

I’m not in it to make money.  I’m in it to get people to think and question and consider some other answers to life’s questions.  I’m in it to report on just what I saw, as clear as I can.  And when I asked for help in the mirror from a greater power, it responded.  The girl in the mirror: My God, By God.  

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

12 Monkeys

Great movie.  Bruce Willis as a hero time-traveler with a touch of schizoaffective disorder who can save the world, if he can distinguish what's crazy and what's not.  The best line comes from Madeleine Stowe as a psychiatrist: "I mean, psychiatry: it's the latest religion.  We decide what's right and wrong.  We decide who's crazy or not.  I'm in trouble here.  I'm losing my faith."

How can you say what's crazy and what's inspirational?  The prophets would all be classified as crazy today.  What if someone came to save the world and we stuck them in a straitjacket?  The "mentally ill" have sensitive brain circuitry that seems to open windows that are closed for most people.  In ancient times the mentally ill were shamans, or visionaries.  What was Joseph Smith?  What if we listened to the visions and considered they may offer guideposts in a world which is often times too mired in realism, routine, drudgery and dispassion.  We are automatons without the fireworks of the mentally ill. 

I've walked in Heaven, I've been to the future, I've brought back answers.  Will I be thought crazy for trying to lead us to a better place?  Will I be banished because I dispute organized religion?

"Cassandra, in Greek legend, was condemned to know the future but to be disbelieved when she foretold it.  Hence the agony of foreknowledge combined with the impotence to do anything about it."

That's the problem.  Will I have wasted my life if no one believes me? 

See the visions and the path to heaven in my book, Through the Open Door: A Bipolar Attorney Talks Mania, Recovery, and Heaven on Earth. Amazon

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Book for sale!

My book launched this week!  It is for sale on Amazon and is called "Through the Open Door: A Bipolar Attorney talks Mania, Recovery, and Heaven on Earth."  It takes you places you can only imagine....a manic state, a psychiatric ward, Heaven on Earth. 

It's been 13 years since my diagnosis and hospitalization.  I've tried a dozen medications and more doctors and therapists, but I always knew I could find a way out.  I am now a wife, mother, and attorney and I have painted my canvas with broad beautiful strokes. 

Bipolars, please don't think that taking medication will temper your glow.  It may take a while to find the right recipe but when you do you can be bigger and better than even your manic state.  Treatment is a must. 

My book might sound like it is a Christian book, what with the Heaven on Earth in the title.  On the contrary, as the problems that have plagued our religions for centuries revealed themselves to me, I knew that I was not a Christian.  I think when religion ends we will truly inherit the promised land.  Heaven is coming soon, for all of us.  My book shares the revelations about the end of religion that I brought back from Heaven.

When I say I have Graduated from God, it's sort of semantics.  I have really become one with him.  I look in the mirror and it's him looking back at me.  "Through a glass darkly, then face to face."  Assumption of God is the very closest relationship you can have with him, and when we realize we are the Gods, we will be reunited with him finally and it will be very good.  He has been waiting with bated breath for us to make this realization, but it is up to us. 

I hope you enjoy the book and continue to read this blog.  Follow me on twitter (hilchaney) or on Facebook. 

Here's a link to the book on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Through-Open-Door-Attorney-Recovery/dp/0989639207/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373465553&sr=8-1&keywords=hilary+chaney


Thursday, June 13, 2013

A giant love

So last night Nathan and I got angry with 4 year-old River more than usual.  He wasn't really being a bad kid, he was just testing a bit.  So he got a time-out or two and a threat to cancel his birthday party.  (Cruel, right?)

Anyway, after one of these punishments, he came into our bedroom with the book I Love You, Daddy.  He said "This is what I think of for you and Daddy and Carter.  I love you all."

I didn't appreciate how remarkable this was until a few minutes later.  Then I went and hugged him as hard as I could and told him he had figured out how to love better than anybody I knew.

To be able to turn love, giant love, right back on someone who has reprimanded you . . . now that is something.  He didn't stew or hold a grudge or pitch a fit.  He just thought back to the building block of our family, and how love makes him feel.  I think love is the most inexhaustible, energy-rich, renewable resource we have, and it can diffuse any situation.  It can turn enemies into protectors and defenders.  For River to get this already at age 4 is amazing.  But the thing is, I KNOW he wasn't even trying to mollify us.  He wasn't saying he loved us to get out of trouble or win over our good side.  He was just saying what he felt.  It was pure.

I knew when River was born I wanted to raise him in an areligious family.  No guilt, no hell or judgment, no inexplicable ghosts named God.  I wanted to fill him with love instead of myths.  I thought if I could do that I might create a child who could change the world.  I thought maybe River could be the one to end religion, if he wanted to.

My one hesitation was that he wouldn't know about morality.  With no threat of punishment from God, how would he know what was right?  That's what the orthodox will tell you . . . a world without religion would be a world without morals.  But it seems, with last night's moment, that he has transcended the Christian way.  Instead of doing right because he is scared of living in hell or disappointing God, instead of living like a rat with a carrot and a stick in front of you, he fell back on love, the only law we need.

I've been writing in this blog for three years, trying to get out the message that heaven on earth will arrive when religion is over.  That there is no God above us, only Love.  That there is no hell and will be no armageddon or judgment day.  That we are born perfect and aglow in love, and only when we are preached fear do we lose that glow.  That we don't need to do anymore perfecting or atoning or praying to go to heaven on earth; we all get to go and there's no admission fee.  I've written a whole book about this which I will publish this summer.

But River made me see all the words, all the 73 posts on this blog, may be simply clutter.  The heart is where to start, and he gets it.  What a proud mother I am.  We are doing the right thing.


God, to have these guys in a room together again....