So tell me more about Heaven….what’s it like?
It’s October 2003. I’m in the plane above the clouds on the way back from South Beach. I see the sunset, the golden sun, the rays of love, heaven’s view. Tupac’s view. A perfect, wonderful world. This is Heaven as I have seen it. When I am manic.
I am in Heaven on Earth for three days in October in Lexington, Virginia. I’m walking around in Heaven on Earth. Love is pouring out from all of us, from above, from all creation, in all directions. From eyes, mouths, fingertips, like golden sunlit waves of unstoppable love. The sun seems to be the source but it continually regenerates all over the place, peacefully pouring over everything. It’s warm but not hot. It’s vibrant but not blinding. It’s sunlight in motion dancing through trees, reverberating off lips, tumbling into dark and crowded places, illuminating all that has been dark. Filling every void, in everyone.
I’m not “trying” to love anymore than those around me are. It’s reflexive, as natural as breathing.
I smile all the time for 3 days. Without trying, my first instinct is to act with love towards others, and they love me just as much. I look others in the eye, in the heart. They recognize and smile back. There is such empathy for one another. I feel all that happens to them, all their joy, as if it were happening to me.
Things work. It’s a “green light”, all the time feeling. A joy to be alive, to interact with others.
I go to see the minister at Trinity Methodist church in Lexington. Stanley Pigue. I tell him I am bipolar, but also that I am in heaven. I’m partly scared and partly exuberant. He smiles. He loves me, as if he is prescient. He is touched and renewed. He tells me not to be afraid, that I have been given a gift, if only momentarily. He tells me to get healthy, but to recognize and hold onto my grace. He is good at what he does.
Life has been so happy and easy this week. I smile all the time. I am tickled, mesmerized by what I see around me. I talk to people, can’t wait to talk to people, share their lives. I am genuinely interested in them and they in me.
GODDAMN I love everyone so much! My heart is bursting with joy. Everyone I see is the soul mate to my soul. Everyone I see is an extension of God, which is love.
In this heaven there is no preface, no pretense, no fear. We are figuratively naked (pre-fall?) There was no fall. It was manufactured. A conjure.
Heaven on earth is 100,000% better than anything I had ever imagined it would be. Indescribable beauty, permeated with vibrant love and light, right here with everyday people in real time.
I AM SO HAPPY! THIS IS IT. I FOUND THE ANSWER. THIS IS THE WAY OUT FOR ALL OF US. THE GOOD NEWS IS HERE. HEAVEN IS AROUND THE CORNER. So happy I could cry.
One analogy I can give you for what heaven feels like is from Indiana Jones. It’s about blind faith. When I am in heaven, I feel like Indy in the third movie, when he has to have blind faith to step off the cliff into a chasm. He has to believe he will be saved from death. He has to have blind, uncomprehending, superhuman faith. Now, for me, that faith is in love and it is in me. It is open eyed and understanding and knowing and flesh and blood. I have elevated from the vantage point of fear and pain and unrequited love, from fumbling in the dark, and can now see the footbridge before I take the step. Blind faith has become concrete knowledge of all of me, of the God in me. Of faith in others, who are also God.
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