Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Sun worshippers

So, there are a multitude of virgin birth creation myths in our human history but Jesus’ birth is the one true one? Right. That makes A LOT of sense. How can we Christians lay claim to the one truth? When others wrote the story first? When that story, that way forces us to deny so much about us that we are born knowing. When that story teaches us that worship of an external God is the only way. When that story teaches us to loathe our humanness and fear hell from day one. When that way loves us conditionally all of our lives. Think people.

We ridicule those “poor, brutish, heathen beasts” who worshipped the sun millennia ago. How naïve and unevolved we say. How ignorant and base and backward. To pay tribute to a “false god.” Well at least you can see the sun every day. You know it exists. You can count on it rising and setting every day. You can count on it for food, for survival. It awakens and warms our soul. You know for a fact it sustains us and breathes life into all of the earth. You marvel at it; it exceeds your expectations. And it expects absolutely nothing from you.

The native tribes had it right. But we tell those tribes to stop worshipping that which they know and begin worshipping a hidden, faceless, amorphous judge of a God. Think people, think. We are extinguishing those beautiful cultures in the name of conversion to a certain faith, a faith that lays claim to the one “true” virgin birth myth when scores of other, older religions established the myth. Right, that makes a LOT of sense.

The multitude of virgin birth myths confirms to me that all religions have threads of truth, threads of what makes sense to us, threads of good. Some of the common themes to all religions are good and true. But not all of them. We can pull the best from them and discard the crap, the crap that twists and tangles us. The crap that leaves us doubting and confused, frustrated and broken. The crap that has led us to flush out these aboriginal peoples.

For centuries, or millennia, we have told these tribes that in order to accept Jesus (and have him accept you) they must swear off their own indigenous faith altogether. Here’s an example:

Debbie Freeman, minister from Little Rock, came to speak to the Presbyterian Women about mission work with the Lacondon Indians in Chiapas Mexico. She said that about 40 years ago the Presbyterian missionaries brought Christianity to the indigenous direct descendants of the Mayans. I asked Debbie what religion they had before Christianity. She said they didn’t have one; then she said no, they had the Mayan religion, which was “very native, very primitive, very brutish, it involved human sacrifice.” (her words). I asked how the Lacondon Indians married Presbyterianism with the Mayan religion, the Mayan culture, and she said they don’t. They had to forego or swear off or turn their backs on their Mayan religion completely to take on Christianity. It was a prerequisite of “receiving Christ” (my words). The anthropologist in me cried. These Presbyterians are not missionaries, that’s just a PC word for crusaders. Sent to obliterate the local religion and culture. And that's not the whole story; they are also clearcutting jungle to build big churches. Again, my heart wept. We have to preserve what’s left of the Mayan descendants’ culture. Natives are being flushed out by Religion all across the globe. It’s why I cannot waste anymore time. Why the time for me is now. We need to change course quickly.

Think people, think. How many of these cultures are still left on earth? We are extinguishing them. It’s too late for so many of them. But we can arrest the slaughter of their truth. We can stop RIGHT NOW.

When I say “we” are extinguishing these cultures, I mean Christianity is extinguishing them, but I also mean Western Jingoism. Our government has adopted Christianity as a way to justify the beat down and destruction of others. Just like all governments before us. A government is biological, an organism, it has Darwinistic survival needs like everything else. Needs to devour other countries, other people. So it may “flourish.” The red Communist Sherwin Williams paint can, spilling over all of Europe. Religion is the same way. We are naïve if we don’t appreciate this. Since religion was created by us, it is obvious that it is a biological beast, and that it feeds voraciously on threats to its survival. It’s the old way, the old establishment, the old order. It’s the wrong way to live in heaven. And the beast is in the sunset of its life.

But don’t get scared! Post-religion does not mean to ditch your current faith. I do not want anyone to swear off their religions. At all! On the contrary, I am not crusading, I don’t need converts. Please let humans be done with crusades, for now and forever. I love what you think is truth. If your religion, or any parts of it, resonate in your heart and make you feel good….go with it! Parse the good and the bad and be your own God, be your own “theo-logy.” (from the Latin, “God-science”). You must have confidence to believe in what works best for you spiritually. And confidence to say “I don’t believe what you believe. It’s fine that you believe differently than me, but mine is just perfect for me, thank you very much.” Love yourself that much. Stop being one of the faceless flock…..start being your own shepherd.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Damn the crusaders, put down the sword

There are many diverse religions out there. Because we all need something to believe in, whether it’s a God or the sun or a fruit fly, or even that you don’t believe in anything. It’s why 6 major world religions cannot possibly suit us all. There is not one size fits all. Religion is not the only truth.

Truth is about what you feel, each of you individually. It’s what you know is true in your heart, not what you read about or are taught. Trying to convince people to believe something they don’t feel is not truth, it’s futility. At best it is sisyphean. At worst, it’s a bloodthirsty crusade. Billions have been slaughtered in religious wars, in wars in which enemies have forced 100% adherence to a faith even they had doubts about.

We all have doubts, it is the natural state of things. Ironically, some say doubt proves faith. But soldiers who are ordered to crusade for a doubt-filled faith are the most dangerous kind. Fighting to the death over something you don’t fully believe in is an ill-fated commission, a tragic scourge. An endless battle.
The sabre of blind faith rattles loudly and there is no satisfaction of its thirst for blood, for validation, or for company in its misery. Religious conversion at knifepoint yields a confused and fractious and fearful flock.

The crusaders tell you to believe. If you don’t quite believe it all, they tell you to believe harder. If you still don’t believe, they tell you to have faith, belief will come. My God, I still don’t get it, you say. We forgive you for being so stupid and graceless, we know you will come around eventually and we are praying for you and for your sake hope you finally get it before you die. Best of luck! Have faith! Our brains are screaming at the illogic of it all. This blind faith. The faith that never grants a reward in this life. The faith that never lets you touch or see or hear your God. The utterly unattainable, utterly unsatisfying quest. It does not make sense to the trinity or our hearts, brains and bodies. It’s why we can still argue about every single line of the bible to this day. It is just that: an argument. A prayer of a shot, lobbed from half court. A riddle that leaves us breathless and tormented and frayed at the edges and hostile to those around us. That leaves us racing around in that damn maze. That keeps us veiled.

As I look up at the stars above Fayetteville, I think how comforting it must have been for ancient people to look up and see the stars. You knew they were true, they were real. They were predictable. And they were bigger than all of us. We didn’t need an imagined religion. We had a perfect order in the universe, in the nature of things. “Religion” as we know it today just disordered what we knew. Created chaos. Created anger and pain and fear, while at the same time tantalizing us with abiding hope. The paradox.

I'm slicing through the dogma and the dictates and rescuing God from religion. He is greater than a book or a prayer or a creed or a commandment...he is you, and you are phenomenal.

Monday, December 27, 2010

A problem concept

I'll start to dissect Christianity and tell you what either makes no sense to me or what really hacks me off.

Let’s take sin and forgiveness, two manufactured Christian concepts.

There is no such thing as sin. We are not born sinners. Or born with a stain. We invented that concept. We do bad things. It’s part of being human. There is no need for us to be “perfect”. God thinks we are all perfect exactly as we are, flaws and all. I see we are all perfect, all of us, all the time. We are totally divine, but in a human body. Sure we may do bad things, out of fear of not being loved, but it is all perfection, it is all on purpose. Doing bad things is not a sin against God, no more so than a child pushing another child down is a sin against the parent. It is just sad for the parent. God aches with divine pain to see us hurt each other because he knows we are born only loving. He knows we will be overcome by heaven where there will be no pain, no hurt. But he has to wait for us to figure it out. We are figuring it out. I am one voice in a million who is figuring it out right now as you read this.

There is no need for the words forgiveness or atonement. There is nothing to forgive. Our humanity, our shortcomings have all already been contemplated. We were made this way, and nobody (God) expects us to be different, better, more perfect. We created the concept of forgiveness as a coping mechanism for the horrific concept of sin. Christianity wrote the original sin into our story. It told us we are born sinners. We torture ourselves with the hell that is sin and then offer forgiveness as a grossly inadequate lifeline.

We give our transgressions epic connotations and then hope to ease the enormous guilt we feel about sin by offering forgiveness. We made our actions seem unbelievably evil, we labeled them sins against the God who loves us more than anyone can imagine, a God who knows no sin. Then we needed a place in our mind to put that sin so we wouldn’t kill ourselves with remorse every time we “sinned.” We sweep these epic sins under the rug with Forgiveness. We created the concept of forgiveness because our brains were horrified and woefully underequipped to deal with the concept of original sin.

But like I said, Forgiveness is inadequate to battle the concept of sin. It is a facile and tidy antidote we created to a scathing chronic illness we also created. The antidote, so quick and easy and painless, with no side effects, bears no comparison to the weight of the “disease”.

We know this, we know forgiveness does not ring true. The way Christians have defined it is not a human ability. We feel anger and suspicion and disappointment and jealousy and bitterness and resentment. Those are normal and natural and human. Sweeping those feelings all out of your mind with forgiveness is not normal. It’s really quite unhealthy, and explains why the Western world is so sick right now, as a collective body. We suffer national depression because we constantly repress how we truly feel about someone hurting us, because we think we are supposed to forgive. “To forgive divine.” Exactly, it expects behavior that we can never attain in this human life. Again, it is an impossible standard set forth by Christianity.

So what do we do instead? What do we say when someone says “I am sorry” in lieu of saying I forgive you? In lieu of patronizing them and martyring yourself? You say Thank you, it makes me feel better to know you are sorry. What you did hurt me. Don’t do it again.

How about instead of granting forgiveness for these eviscerating sins, we just banish original sin? Instead of continually apologizing for transgressions labeled so horrific that our brains cannot process the scale, why not remove the stain. The stain that never was. We just take it out of our lexicon, out of our brains. We unteach it. Unlearn it. We go back to the beginning. We are as clean of sin as the dumb beasts, as ignorant of sin as Adam and Eve pre-fall if you need a biblical analogy. We realize that simple bad behavior, which Christianity has aggrandized into “sin” is an outgrowth of not being loved enough and of fearing we fail to meet God’s expectations. We remove the fatalistic connotation for doing bad, human things. This comes part and parcel with learning to receive unconditional love and then loving all of yourself.

In one grand editorial of Jesus’ death on the cross, Christianity told us all we are born sinners. Just as easily, we can realize this is just not true. There is nothing to forgive. The tragic irony is that in your heart, you know this to be true, you have always known this to be true. You know what has been preached for so long, the concept that you are born with the stain of original sin, is pure fabrication. It never had to happen.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Post script

I just feel it necessary to clarify....when I express consternation or frustration with Christianity, it is with the crusading Church, and those who bastardize God's love. I am realizing my problem is not with God at all, but with the way some of us over the centuries have defined the deity and the narrow path we must take to find him. So you will see anger with the institution in this blog....don't take it personally, unless of course you are an author of the fear and manipulation industry yourself.

Eat Pray Love

Some books electrify me....

One of creative expression that calls out to me is found in Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love. She journeys around the world seeking truth, peace, and joy. There are parts of this book that positively exhilarated me because I have felt what she did, I have seen the Nirvana that she experienced. It’s not some bizarre carnival ride in my brain, it’s a place that others yearn for and some have actually found.

She talks of Turiya, a Hindu concept, which is the “elusive fourth level of human consciousness.” It is a state of observation of all levels of your consciousness, a God’s eye view of yourself. If you can find this fourth level, you can be with God all the time. Gilbert says you know you have reached Turiya when you are in a state of constant bliss. Some descriptors are pure, clean, eternal, tranquil, and most important to me, “abiding in your own greatness.” Gilbert states that the great prophets and saints were living in Turiya all the time. She adds that many of us have had brief glimpses of Turiya. In those moments you are “stirred by grace, swollen with wonder, overflowing with bliss.” These moments are elusive and unexplained, and we all search for ways to live in Turiya permanently. Gilbert comments that we have tried any number of ways to preserve Turiya, from sex and drugs to power and adrenaline. Those who follow the Yogic path seek it through meditation. (196-7)

Gilbert then says that perfection, bliss, Turiya, is within all of us, all the time. That is what I have found. When I am manic, I live in Turiya. I go within myself. It is a fourth level or a fourth dimension. I become bliss, I become Love, I become God. I finally recognize and welcome the divinity within me. I know all of me, love all of me, and fear nothing. As mania has come and gone over the years, I have been able to wear away at the learned fear. I began to see the crusading Christian construct of fear for what it is: ludicrous, manufactured, overblown, entrenched yet tenuous, a true Wizard of Oz, dancing in the shadows of self-doubt and misplaced faith, tormenting us by day and haunting us by night. By banishing the fear I started to knit pieces of heaven into the patchwork of my daily life, so the flashing glimpses of Turiya appear with greater frequency. The hope I have is that I can get back to Turiya or heaven on earth, not through mania, but through you. With you. With all of us.

Gilbert paints the picture of heaven as others have felt it. The yogi Ketut Liyer reports that it is “gold color everywhere, even inside me.” In heaven, I saw the same unstoppable waves of golden love, pouring through and from and into all of us. The man continues that “This gold color is God, who inside me. Same thing that is God is same thing inside me. Same-same.” Exactly. Same-same. We are God, he is us. Same-same. (233)

When Gilbert asks Liyer what Heaven is like, he responds “Beautiful. Everything beautiful is there. Everything beautiful to eat is there. Everything is love there. Heaven is love.”

All of these descriptions are dead on. She describes where I have been, and where I hope to go again, with all of you.

Gilbert reports that for one spiritual sage, being in Heaven with God is “like two fat men living in a small boat---we keep bumping into each other an laughing.” That is exactly the fun and familiarity I find with God when I am in heaven. He is my best friend. We get each other’s jokes. We find the other hilarious. We cluck around like happy hens. When you know that God is you, that he is the best and worst of you and everything in between, you just laugh with such relief. Such an exhale. It is like we have been crying for God, lamenting in tears that he has left us and that we are lost and that we need him to be with us, and then he finds us, we walk out of the maze into his arms, and we let out a huge exhausted shudder when the tears have been wiped away. Our joy at the reunion is matched by his; he has come home too.

The final section of Gilbert’s book that vibrated within my heart tracks God talking to the author when she is at her most hopeless and desperate. God’s voice says:

“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it----I will love you through that, as well. If you don’t need the medication, I will love you too. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”

Now this is what we all long to hear from God. But when I read that, I was manic and in heaven, and I was riddled with a love for other human beings so profound and pervasive that the weight of it brought me to tears. These words were mine to you. This was what I longed to say to each of you, what I still long to say to you. It’s how much I love you when I am in heaven….or really, all the time, but when not in heaven, I sometimes get scared to say it. I am afraid of what you will think of me if I say it, but I feel it nonetheless.

As I now read these words again, I realize that we long to hear that from each of us, and we will. But I also see that this is me talking to myself too. Because in heaven I am God, I am my best friend, protector, and comforter. I love myself just as Gilbert’s God loves her, and as soon as I allow myself to do that, I expand with that same love for you too. I cannot help but love with God-love.

So Gilbert has had quite an awakening. Her books resonated with all of us, because she describes the ultimate relationship with God. She got a glimpse of our life as it should and will be. We have all felt it too, and we are excited. I am thrilled to think heaven is just around the corner, but I am twice as delighted to be sharing that good news with you.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Dimension travel

This is what I wrote this summer, when I was in heaven...

Nature v. Nurture argument is the same as science v. religion. They are not mutually exclusive. They are both very important and both work together to create a human mind, body and spirit. Science and faith, brain and spirit, innate knowledge and implicit love. At the top of the 360º spectrum, same/same.

Physics. Very very fast is right next to very very slow on spectrum of physics. Both are at top of circle, No absolutes. No mutual exclusivity of anything anymore. All is integrated. Dimensions are fluid in my heaven. There are no boundaries, they are like a lava lamp. There are no more axes, no straight lines. Dimensions tumbling over each other, spilling back and forth, advancing and receding in concert, in cooperation, in absolutely perfect harmony.

Heaven is real time dimension travel.

I’m in an elevated state of consciousness. Using more than 10% of my brain. Accessing so many varied centers of my brain: the love center, the memory center, the faith center, the compassion center, the empathy center, the ego center, the realism center, the existential center, the patience center, the hope center, the subliminal center, the dream center, the revelation center, the academic center, the linguistic center, the relationships center, the problem solving center, the funny center, the energy efficient center, the future time center, the multidimensional center. I know what is going to happen before it does, 80% of the time. But it’s not like I am watching a video of what is going to happen in ten minutes. It’s just that I know in ten minutes something is going to work out exactly as it should, and I delight in this knowledge and in the certainty I have that things will work right on time, right like they are supposed to. I let my life come to me, and it comes in beauty and miracles and wonder. Things I misplaced magically appear right when I need them too. This is a feat of my enhanced memory, which can recall stored visual memories and put them to use in the present when I need to apply them. It is quite remarkable. Dreams have become very useful too. I now remember most of my dreams and they are often visions for me of how to solve problems the next day. I know this happens to other people too, but it happens to me a lot more than it used to. Time for me now is not linear, it’s circular, flowing freely between past, present and future in my mind. There are not just four dimensions, there are unlimited dimensions, involving all brain centers mentioned above and many more. My brain is working fully in concert and collaboration with all of its depths, all of the dimensions. Because I believe good will happen for me, it does, I can predict it. FAITH. In myself, in the miracle of how the world works. And faith especially in others. I have become much better at listening to others and now I find that we work so well together, in friendly cooperation, eliciting wonder and delight in each of us and in how nice it is for things to work like magic between us. People are blowing my expectations away. I finally know who I am, every bit of me. I am finally understanding how the world works, and how we work, and how we will all be better. I am learning every day. While I sometimes fall back to the rat race, that’s happening less and less. I am rising more each day. I am so excited about this! I can’t wait to finish this book. I can’t wait to talk about what has happened to me, what is happening to me right now.

Note on December 22, 2010. I'm not in that heaven now. But I look back at what I wrote and marvel at that place. I hope I can feel it again. I hope I can continue to report...

Merry Christmas.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Semantics....God, Love, Me

Here's how this works; here's how we begin to graduate from God, or to come home to Him as us, however you choose to see it. Replace the word “God” with the word “Love” and then with the word “I” (meaning you, not HMC).

God loves me. Love loves me. I love me.
God made me. Love made me. I made me.
God will provide. Love will provide. I will provide.
God has a plan. Love has a plan. I have a plan.
God loves you. Love loves you. I love you.
God will protect you. Love will protect you I will protect you.
God gives me strength. Love gives me strength. I give me strength.
God knows best. Love knows best. I know best.
God never fails. Love never fails. I never fail.
God knows me. Love knows me. I know me.
God is always w/ me. Love is always w/ me. I am always w/ me.
Know God. Know Love. Know me.
Follow God. Follow Love. Follow me.
Worship God. Worship Love. Worship me.
God is love. Love is love. I am love.
Have faith in God. Have faith in Love. Have faith in me.

All of the above statements are true. God wants us to stand on our own feet. He is always there but he wants us to walk on our own. To lean on each other when we need to. God sustains you, breathes life in to you, cares for you as a parent loves a child…I do those things for you, Love does those things. Love is me. And you and you and you.

Take the power back from Him and put it where it belongs, with you. When a great NFL receiver catches the game winning touchdown, he looks skyward and says "Thank you God"...."God gave me my gifts and made that catch possible." I say NO! You worked hard for 10 hours a day for 15 years, and your trainers worked hard, and your parents and coaches worked hard, and you and your quarterback practiced time and time again, and that's WHO made it possible. The amorphous faceless timeless disembodied deity did not catch that football. You get the credit. Praise YOU. Praise all of you, all of ye Gods.

If we can all believe and live what I have seen, what I have felt, the God-love, then we will all be ministers to each other, we will all be divine, we will all fill each other up, give each other faith, love each other as God loves us, we will be walking living prophets, extensions of Him, God incarnate. Thus we will not need religion anymore. We will live post-religion. “But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.” Religion is an imperfect interpretation of the God-love. It is prophecy of what will come to earth, eventually. Jesus saw it, lived it, knew it, and he tried to tell us about it, but he didn’t give it to us, he didn’t show us how to live it….he tried to, but he couldn’t. We live in a very imperfect world, and that's how I know Jesus failed. When Heaven gets here, when we all become God, the prophecies will cease. When the perfect comes to us (Heaven on Earth) the imperfect (religion) disappears.

I realize this is all semantics. When I say you graduate from God, I mean you walk into a world where you are so filled with God that He as a name and a space and a place and a person and a story disappears. You inherit him, all of him, so his Christian shell disappears. You are so complete and so all knowing and so all loving and so all bliss that you need no more external deity. So for many of you, it may be better put this way....instead of graduating from God you are born into God. You become him, he becomes you, and you put the old word "God" aside. You are cleaved no more.

We're talking about the same thing people. It's just that I have been there.

Why I stopped blogging

So I owe you an explanation for why I quit blogging.

There are times when I am inspired and purposeful and committed to the message in my writing. The message that breaks through the veil and leads us all to heaven on earth. The message that is light and truth and love, the theology that changes the game and vanquishes doubt and confusion and quibbling over whose faith is the right faith.

But then there are times when I remember that I am ill. When I look at my writing and see Russell Crowe's nonsensical rambling in A Beautiful Mind. When I say my illumination is just crazy raving. When I give up on my calling.

At these times, the dull throbbing pulse of organized Christianity----the Christmas carols and nativity scenes and Christmas cards and energy of millions of people shopping and wrapping and waiting----when all that beats like a drum in my head, like a heartbeat, and I feel drawn back into the Church. Into the safety of being in a pack of lemmings marching off a cliff. I feel drawn back into the flock and I like it for a while. It requires little effort and less thought. It's like sleeping. I don't mean to say that all of Christianity is an's just the rote, unthinking part that I can't bear.

So I stop blogging about Graduating from God and want instead to run back into His arms. I want the soft silk of the security blanket that is religion. The irresistable sound of Silent Night in a dark church. I go to Church.

Because I get tired of being the author of a new religion. Tired of standing alone and apart from the sea of lemmings. At these lonely times, I fall back into the Christian rhythm and tell myself anything counter to that is crazy.

But then I realize that when I stand outside of that pack of lemmings, I am not alone. I have Nathan. When I tell Nathan I give up on my calling to change the world, that I relent under the weight of "we do it this way because it's how we have done it for two thousand years," he says "you can't give up. You can't unring the bell. You can't unshine the light that has filled your life. Your message is not crazy. I believe in it and I believe in you and I know you can change the world if you keep at it."

I think about that for several minutes. Nathan has said before that he feels like Simon Peter, Jesus' best friend, walking by his side, lifting his spirits and offering encouragement when the prophet's road seems long and lonely. I think, what would Simon Peter have done if Jesus had looked at him and shrugged and said "My bad, just kidding, forget what I have told you. It's all nonsense...I'm tired and I give up. It's too hard. Sorry for your trouble friend, find another mission." How could he give up on those who believe in him? How could he say his revelations are nonsense when others, others who are not plagued by mental illness, say they are truth. How can I turn my back on what I have been called to do? Nathan says it's not fair and it's not right to quit now.

He's right. I've got to keep at it. The veil has been lifted for me and I cannot go back to the darkness.

I won't guarantee that I will write every day, but I won't quit either. I will continue to share my writing and I will make a difference yet.

Friday, December 3, 2010

The first love

God loves us so very much. He wants us to be happy and to enjoy our lives and each other, to utilize our personal gifts to the fullest. Nathan’s love of mechanics, solving problems, working on cars. My love of reading and writing and cooking.

God DOES NOT want us to do the above to glorify him. Or to be “like” him. God will never judge us for our works. He will never measure us by how much we emulate him. Ever. He is desperate for us to break through this mental morass and see him face to face. He can’t wait to be with us again. To be us. For us to see we are him.

HE doesn’t want you to worship or honor him. HE wants us to worship and honor love and ourselves, we who are love incarnate. I want you to believe in love too. It’s okay if you don’t. I still love you for all your Godliness, your perfection, your individuality, your longing, and your hope.

God loves us and wants us to love ourselves too. Loving yourself means facing pain at the hands of someone else and working through it with that person. Being honest and defending yourself, because who else will. Loving and knowing your beautiful self above all others. Protecting yourself, honoring your needs and desires, trusting your human instincts, not fearing “un-Christian” thoughts. Putting yourself first and loving yourself first is all worthy and worthwhile and unfortunately, it has been reviled by the Church for 2000 years. You are GOOD. Your instincts are loving. Christianity has convinced you otherwise. It has confused loving your neighbor with demoting and marginalizing yourself. Love of self is where we start. Any interpretation of God’s love that leaves that part out is incomplete. It’s the wrong way.

We “love” our neighbors above all else. Above ourselves. We think any ego based instinct or anything that honors our own feelings or wounds anyone else even for a minute is UNCHRISTIAN, bad, demonic, the work of the devil. It's not demonic, it's our birthright, it's how we are built; we are born egocentric but are taught to hate that about ourselves from birth. Jesus and the other prophets say "love your neighbor as yourself", but we forget the love yourself part. We put ourselves last, we shine our light on others first. We are taught to love others from our first breath, without practicing the most fundamental and glorious love first. Jesus said love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. Those are the two most important words in the Golden Rule. Jesus knew self-love is the first and best love...we have just forgotten, and now we treat our neighbors quite poorly. How can we possibly love them fully if we skip the first step?

God wants you to love, worship, honor yourself. To revel in your own Godness. To shine your light on yourself first so that others may warm themselves in your light. All of you is perfect and Godly, all of your behaviour is worthwhile. All of it is worthy. All of it is on purpose. All of it is part of the tidal wave that is carrying us unrelentingly toward heaven. It’s coming, believe me, it’s coming. I have been there and I see how close we are. We'll get there soon, all of us. If we can just shed the skin of selflessness and self-loathing and self-doubt. You are God and I love that about you!

Thursday, December 2, 2010


So I don't have much time today....this will be a brief post.

Here's what my mom always says when trying to get me to go to church. She says "Honey, it's about being with a community, plain and simple. It's not so much about what is said in the pulpit or in the bible. Lord knows I don't believe everything that is preached. Some days only 20% of what is said I agree with, some days more. What matters is a shared experience with others."

Well this just drives me up a wall. You spend an hour each Sunday nodding obediently when you don't believe it? Church is the ONE time you are calling out to a greater spirit. You are trying to connect with what moves you, with what moves all of us. You are trying to listen to the chord your heart is playing. This is the time when 20% or even 95% does not cut it. It is just ridiculous to me that you would offer up yourself, your mind, your heart to something which you don't fully believe in. Which leaves you guessing or doubting. I think it is lazy to settle for less than 100% resonance of what you believe. You must not settle! Make your own faith, the faith that you believe 100%. There is something out there for you that perfectly aligns with that chord in your heart. Don't accept less than that. We all are in a pattern of accepting less than that, much less than that, and we wonder why we are unhappy and stressed and depressed. When my mom tells me that, she basically admits that she has given up. She admits that she has set the bar low for herself, so that 20% is enough most days. You know that if you plan on failing, you will fail.

Plan on succeeding. Plan on finding a faith that sends shivers down your spine and answers all of your questions and lets you be the best you can be, better than the best.

I will not settle. I do not attend church anymore because I refuse to settle. Because I have found 100% and I am not going back to less than that. You are the very best, you are perfect, do not let yourself down, do not be complacent. Expect 100% from your spiritual moments....100% is out there for all of us, and you deserve it.

God, to have these guys in a room together again....