Monday, March 28, 2011

Today's Bipolar Tweets

#limitless those in mania know exactly what it’s like to use 100% of brain, am I right sufferers of #bipolar? Geniuses live at that level.

The magic pill is medication to channel #manic energy, so it’s managed without overdrugging. #limitless brain function is on horizon for all.

#bipolar scale is 1-20: 1 is worst depression, 20 is hypermania. 10 is perfect balance without too much of either, nor too much drugs, with good sleeping and easy moods and less irritability and good brain processing and productivity. Comfortable rather than exuberant #optimism. 10 is the goal, but we struggle every day, every minute to hit that balance. BP’s are not the only ones who battle for a 10….

#Bipolar medication and therapy and physical health and knowing you are not alone can get you to a 10. Bipolars out there I am telling you that you can manage this beast. You can live a life and be a wife and mother and attorney and friend…there’s a better day ahead. Do not give up hope, any of you with #mentalillness. All of you with mental illness, we’ve all got something. Future is #limitless.

Here to listen if any of you need an ear. Love you.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Jeffersonian Age

Christian conservatives these days are lauding Jefferson and the other founding fathers for their commitment to Christianity in the early days of our country. Hogwash. They were humanists, believing in the innate goodness of a man free from the constructs of religious institutions. As relates to their belief in God, at the most, they were deists, believing "reason and observation of the natural world, without the need for organized religion, can determine that a supreme being created the universe."

The following link establishes Thomas Jefferson's true views on religion and God ("his noble beliefs") through a variety of his quotations.

There is a big difference between a Jeffersonian and an atheist, and I feel that many of the former are mislabeled as the latter. A graduation from the modern-day stranglehold many have on "their God" would simply be a return to the freedom, intellect and optimism of the Age of Reason. I wonder if it won't take a revolution to get there. Hopefully there is a peaceful way.

"History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes."

-Thomas Jefferson to Alexander von Humboldt, Dec. 6, 1813.

No offense to the smart and good priests I know personally. I simply conclude they are the exception rather than the rule in our evangelical America.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

September 11, 2011

So you all know I struggle with how to convey the visions I have seen of heaven on earth to others. A dear friend helped me out last night by saying it must be like trying to explain the idea of color to a child or blind person before they have ever seen color. Words utterly fail to convey the new viewpoint until the person actually sees it. Once they see color they understand perfectly and can never go back to a black and white world. Bingo! That's a terrific analogy and I really thank my friend for taking time to listen to me, and to help me more than she knows. Like in the movie the Wizard of Oz, all I want to do is be able to switch the color on for everyone.

Because of this impediment, I constantly try to think of ways to make words work until the color switch is flipped. Thus, the verbosity. Thanks so much for reading.

I have visions of the future sometimes. Here's a vision I have had a few times that is rather frightening and may well bring the Department of Homeland Security to my door.

9/11/11 is the ten year anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy. I predict that someone out there will honor the anniversary with a terrorist attack. Perhaps by the same Taliban group or perhaps by a copycat group. Where will this attack occur? Just think about what is going on in America on Sunday, September 11, 2011. The Dallas Cowboys have a home football game in the new Dallas Stadium.

The analogy is that the NFL is America's religion. By money, passion, and time spent worshiping the sport collectively, I think there is no religion out there that competes with it. While Americans splinter on all sorts of religious and political debates, we are by and large united in our reverence for football. The ever growing bloc of secularists in America may not be divorced from religion at all; they may have simply found another "God."

If we worship football, the new Dallas Stadium is the most symbolic modern day temple. A monolith of money, capitalism, outright sexiness, and devil may care pride, it gleams full tilt with Americanism. It is what many outside of America (and even inside of America) hate about the U.S. Gaudy, ostentatious, huge, and Texan. You can see the swagger and spurs from well outside of Dallas County. An attack on Dallas Stadium on a packed Sunday on the 10th anniversary of 9/11 would give terrorists the most bang for their buck. All eyes on Dallas, 120,000 captive devotees, free TV coverage. Scary, downright scary. In my vision I see an attack on the Sunday Dallas game as the feature event with simultaneous attacks going on at other stadiums around the country. The shot will be lobbed at America's jugular and will be heard and seen around the world with equal parts dismay, shock, and delight. Many out there simply do not love us (U.S.)

For the first time, America will in response engage in an all out war against the attacker. Again, who the attacker will be is unclear to me. Could be the Taliban, could be a race war, could be a technology savvy maniac acting alone. No matter, I see the potential for the beginning of the next great war, perhaps the last war. December 2012 looms large in my mind's eye.

Fate fascinates me however. Because right now we are facing an NFL strike that could suspend all games for the foreseeable future. There may be no one in Dallas Stadium on September 11, 2011 for this reason. The universe, or whatever makes the universe tick, may be delaying the inevitable attack on a bloated and self-important America (I hate to say that about us because I grew up loving, LOVING, my country, and I still have a glowing ember of faith in America) by way of the NFL strike. The events of this week in Japan, bless its heart, makes me think the spirit of the Universe, the unfolding of fate, Karma, God, Time Almighty, whatever you may call it, has a plan to bring the chaos of the modern world to a head. Let me make this perfectly clear: I do not want to see a doomsday scenario....I don't want one more life to be lost for any reason, but it just seems forewritten to me.

What gives me hope in this mad world? We can stop the slide towards mass destruction. We are absolutely the captains of our fate and can choose to avert the end of the world and protect this earth and save our children's future for all time.

I just have to be able to flip that dang color switch on so we can all see the way out, the way back to good. I know we can and will walk in heaven on earth. No doubt about that at all. It's just a question of what happens before that. And we will all answer that question together. It's sink or swim and we're all on the boat.

I'm praying (and for someone who doesn't pray that's a big statement) that my dreams rather than my nightmares come true. Naturally I don't get visions of heaven on earth without visions of doomsday as well. Still working on nudging us toward the former without the latter, gonna figure it out....

Will not let you down. Thank you again so much for reading this blog.

Love, Hilary

Saturday, March 12, 2011

What a week!

I am having an illuminating week. I'm feeling pulses of the euphoric heaven that predict mania. Luck and coincidence are shining down on me. It's like the universe is coming to meet me, and I cannot escape the signs. I feel holy.

Nathan is keeping a close eye on me.

I went to a forum on World's Religions this week. 4 speakers: Rabbi, Baptist preacher, Muslim doctor and Buddhist. All shared thoughts on who or what is God, is there a heaven and hell, why is there evil, what comes after death. Fascinating to me. When I hear about, think about, discuss spirituality with others, a tuning fork in me vibrates. I am certainly "called", but not to preach a certain religion, certainly not. I have a voracious appetite for learning about how other people worship and tremor with joy when I can clarify and enunciate my own theology. It's very hard sometimes to express what I have seen and the future that has been revealed to me, but I am learning the words, thanks to the wonderful people who cross my path. I am grateful to all those who take time to talk with me.

Anyway, the speakers used these words to describe their own faith: "a struggle to understand", "complicated", "confusing", "unexplainable", and "unknowable." I asked the panel "If such words are used to explain the major religions, then isn't religion just the veil obscuring truth?" "Why would ultimate truth be described by those words?" "Do you all foresee a post-religion age?" One said religion is a tool that can be used for good or bad. One said learning more about religion, and our own differences, is the only hope we have for peace. One said all religions are climbing the mountain of truth on different paths, and when we all get to the top there will be no more different varieties of religion, no more seeking, no more words to divide us. I was delighted to engage with the speakers about this.

Here's what then coalesced in my brain: (And forgive me for being vain, or sounding presumptuous or holier than thou...this is just the vision that has come to me after years of contemplation about it. All I can do is share the image).

There are two rooms. One is dark and one is brightly lit. In the dark room are the world's religions. They can see the door ajar to the room that is lit. They can faintly see the light streaming into their dark room. They believe deeply in the light and want to find it and bask in its warmth. The light is truth and heaven and the answers to everything. So religions are stumbling in the dark, with tiny torches trying to light the way, seeking to find the truth but not knowing how to get out of the room. The frustrating thing is that the room is right next door but the religions cannot even see the proximity because of the profound darkness. In this struggle, under the veil of darkness and doubt, in this pursuit of truth, religions are at their noblest. They are all the same in that regard. They all see flashes of light at times in their courses, but none have been able to leave the dark room. They are still largely in darkness and the world is thus still in chaos.

I am in the room that is lit. It's where I am when I have walked in heaven.

I struggle mightily with how to open the door and shine the light into the darkness. I want more than anything to break down the door. I veer towards preaching or urging people to see the light, to come into heaven on earth. I get frustrated that I cannot just run a video clip of exactly what I am seeing and feeling in the lit room. Words must suffice for now, and they do a lame job most times. I know preaching is not the right way, and I don't want to disparage any faith out there. I am sure others have been or are in the lit room too, and I would love to hear about that experience for you.

I am not always in the lit room. I go back and forth between darkness and light. I feel darkness and fear and frailty many times but I always know right where the light is and how to walk back through the door. How I can help release the light and warm those who shiver in the dark is just now being revealed to me. It's a journey for me, and I fail as much as I succeed. But I am always learning. I am terribly optimistic.

Religions seem to be the map as we stumble in the dark. The sad irony is that the map is upside down. We've thought for thousands and thousands of years that we were on the right trail, and now I see we've been misled. And I see exactly what the problem is. I have found another map.

Religions have tremendous merit in doses and offer numerous clues about how to get back on the right trail and what the light will feel like when we all revel in it. Those flashes of lightning and clarity resonate with all of us. But I do think religions are on the way out. They have exhausted themselves, and you see this in how tired and pessimistic many devout believers are. We've all been running on the same hamster wheel for so long. As they say in Clark County, "We've tried the same old thing for 75 years and it's not working, so let's try something different." The time for a new way to think is upon us, if we are interested in that sort of thing.

One thing I can say for sure is that the light is real. Heaven on earth, Nirvana, union with the eternal creator, world peace, whatever you may call it, that is all as real as can be. All religions know the light is real. You are born glowing with that light, that soul, that essence, that knowledge. Unveiling it, rediscovering it, unteaching the darkness...that's where I feel my gift. And that's what I will continue to work on as long as I take breath.

If you can help shine light on me or others, please post your thoughts. You are a bright and beautiful light!

God, to have these guys in a room together again....