Whatever works for you

Just had a terrific 36th birthday and am feeling inspired after thinking on this blog post for about a week. It's yet another turn in my walk away from God, but it ironically brings me right back to him.

Here's what I envision. When you die, you face something conclusive. It's the end for sure, but there will be some answers for you when you get there. I see something or someone at the end of your life....

some will call that something God. I think it may instead be a confluence of energy, or it could be a computer (I haven't ruled out the theory that computers created our world a billion years ago and just have us on autopilot), or it could be your mom or grandma, or it could be Darth Vader or it could be a sunset in paradise. Or it could be God.

But something will be there to receive you. And here's what IT will say. Either:

A) "You had a great life and you loved a lot of people and lived well and died satisfied. You chose to believe in God, so you know what, God exists! If that is the premise that got you through each day then Goddamnitall, you're RIGHT and you were right all along and congrats on sticking to your faith."

Or,

B) "You had a great life and you loved a lot and lived well and made a difference and died satisfied. You chose not to believe in God; you figured out that HE did not exist anymore than the Easter Bunny. And you know what? You're RIGHT! There is no God but you. You're the God, you're the greatest most powerful lovely smart creation that ever was and there is not a "God" as the religions have presupposed. You figured out the riddle and are so much stronger and happier for it, and congrats on sticking to your faith."

I really like this idea of two scenarios, one for the religious and one for the non-religious. That whatever melts your butter and brings love and light to your life is the TRUTH. You think it, so it is. Both premises can exist at the same time. No more need for wars of conversion, either way.

It's the most basic form of "self-soothing" that all the baby books talk about. 1) "I know there's a God and he loves me and will take care of me and I will glorify him. That brings me peace in the dark night." Or, 2) "I know there is no God or Heaven or Hell and that conclusion makes me happy and makes inherent sense to me and brings me closer to the flesh and blood people that light up my life. That brings me peace in the dark night."

Is this as clear and real and comforting a philosophy to anyone else as it is to me? What it means is we don't have to fight anymore. God, or No God, is about what you believe. "I believe I am right about this eternal question" we all say, and every single one of us is.

Disclaimer: Although I like this philosophy I still really think there is no monotheistic God.

I think the force out there that's greater than us is not God, but an electric network of Love, shining forth between and among us and setting sparks off when love is bounced back to you. When we die, we look at the power source of that great love network and it's like looking in a mirror. You're not looking at God, you're looking at you.

Well, whatever. This blog theory brings me peace, and it may or may not be right. It'll sure be nice to find out the answer after all is said and done. 'Cause I do like to be right!!:)

Love, as ever