I’m on the recovery road from a recent brief manic
episode. Resulted from lack of sleep due
to kids waking up a lot, and change of seasons, and a few other things. Back in business though!
This weekend, though, I had a really great conversation with
a good friend. We talked about my
philosophy about us being the Gods, and heaven coming when religion as we know
it is over. She is a Christian but bless
her heart, she had the patience and caring to listen to my perspective. She really asked a lot of questions, which is
all I long for. A chance to be
heard.
So I had too much wine that night and was a little
emotional. I went into the bathroom to
brush my teeth and found myself tearing up when I looked in the mirror. I just looked at myself and said plaintively,
“Please, please let me know there is a reason for all of this. Please let me know there is a point for all I
have done….the hard work on the book, putting myself and my revolutionary ideas
on the line, risking my family’s reputation, risking (and experiencing)
rejection, going through the emotions of becoming public with my illness.” “Please someone or something out there show
me a sign that it’s worth it, and my vision will someday come to pass.” In the old days you I would have prayed to
God, but that night I just put my faith and energy directly into my own soul
while I looked at myself in the mirror.
We, the Gods. “Then through a
glass darkly, now face to face.”
Well, yesterday, my mother-in-law told me her friend, who is
Southern Baptist, had read my book, straight through. I was worried about what he would say. She said his quote was “You know, she had
some interesting and different ideas. It
made me think about things differently.
The truth may not be what we think.”
She told him she really believed I had seen something special when I
walked in Heaven. They had a good
discussion.
Well, hot damn! That
was the answer to my supplication. My
effort is worthwhile. If 99 Baptists say
I am blasphemous but 1 says it made him think differently, I have achieved my
goal. It made my heart sing.
I’m not in it to make money.
I’m in it to get people to think and question and consider some other
answers to life’s questions. I’m in it to
report on just what I saw, as clear as I can.
And when I asked for help in the mirror from a greater power, it responded. The girl in the mirror: My God, By God.
Good for you. If it can reach/touch one, it can reach thousands.
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